Two years ago, I was facing a decision about whether to go forward with a second lumbar spinal fusion surgery. I was incredibly worried about making the right decision, and I was afraid. However, many events transpired right before my surgery, which deeply comforted me.
First, I want to tell you about something that the scriptures reminded me of very shortly before these events took place. We are all God’s children, His “little ones,” whom He cares for deeply and individually, and none of our problems are too small for His attention and direction.
Mathew 18:10-14
- Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.
- For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.
- How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?
- And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.
- Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.
It wasn’t until verse 14, that I had the epiphany. The “little ones,” are ALL of God’s children! Not just little kids … ALL of God’s children! Oh wow … I knew we were His children, but He refers to us as “little ones.” He thinks of us as “little ones.”
Two weeks before my surgery, I had a pre-op appointment with my primary care doctor. It was a long drive to her office, especially in rush hour traffic. I had 45 minutes ahead of me. I’d spent the time praying out loud in anxiety in my car. About halfway there, I confessed to God, what I’m sure He already knew. I told Him that even though He is faithful, I was so scared. I was scared of making the wrong choice and of at least 100 different things attached to that one worry. The “what ifs” were assaulting my brain like machine-gun fire. I was asking forgiveness and for help with it. I told him that I know my fear isn’t because He lacks, it’s because I lack trust. I ended my prayer and drove in silence for a minute or so before deciding to switch the radio on. K-love is my favorite station and it’s usually the only one I listen to. When I switched it on, the perfect song was playing. One of my best friends had texted this song to me on a particularly horrible night a couple months before. She’d just felt I needed to hear it. This song talks about fear and asking, “God Help me.” It’s by Plumb. I was immediately moved and comforted by this song. At the end of the song, the radio fell silent and then a loud voice pierced the silence with, “FEAR NOT, LITTLE AMY!” I almost had a heart attack right then. It’s miraculous that I didn’t accidentally drive my vehicle right into a cactus. I could barely believe what I’d just heard. I was so confused. After listening for another couple moments, I realized the host’s names were Skip and Amy. They began talking about Christmas music. In what realm would it be normal to format this sentence? “Fear not, little Amy!” It’s not normal! Especially not normal leading into a conversation about Christmas music, but that is exactly what the radio show host had said. I had to sit and think about how profound this actually was before it sank in. This was not a coincidence. God used the radio host to perfectly format a message for me, and he would probably never even know it.
Isaiah 41:10
- Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
I call this “my scripture” because God has given it to me in about 1000 unpredictable, unlikely ways right when I need it. It’s in greeting cards, on the radio, and was even written by someone else’s child in Sunday school, who decided to randomly give it to me. I say randomly, but we all know these things are not random. The radio show host, leading into a talk about Christmas music, used the very words that I would recognize immediately as God’s answer to the prayer I’d just finished not even a full 60 seconds before. That’s not random. It’s also not normal to call someone little. I’d just been reminded shortly before this, that I am one of God’s little ones and that we are each precious little ones in His eyes.
“Fear not, little Amy.” There are no other words that could have hit me more profoundly in that exact moment. He even said my name! I know Skip wasn’t talking to me, but God sure was. God was “live and on air!” I laughed and cried and then laughed some more and told God, “Thank you, thank you!!! You are SO awesome!”
I am so glad God cares about the concerns of my heart. I know that so many times in my life, through the murky swamp of confusion and indecision, He has towed me through it. He has never left me there to rot, though I find my deepest human fear is that He would leave me alone. It is no wonder that it’s one of the promises He has reiterated to us repeatedly. He will never leave us alone.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
“Fear not, little ones.” Just praise Him, seek Him, love Him, obey Him, and lay your life down to Him, for He is always good and cares for even our smallest need.
